You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
