Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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