Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
