I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize