and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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