So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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