No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
