he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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