if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
