is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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