he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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