The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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