Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
