just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
