Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
