I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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