Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
