this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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