At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
