I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
