Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
