She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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