"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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