Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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