I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
