I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
