HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
