Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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