i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
