"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
