If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
