i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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