It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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