Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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