I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
