it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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