dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
