I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
