sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
