How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize