I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
