you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
