awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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