SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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