remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
