You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize