Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize