Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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