at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
