How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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