it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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