i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
