We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
