We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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