We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
