He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
