proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
