I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
