You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
