how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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