found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
