lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
