I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
