you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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