I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
