K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
