So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
