Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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