Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
