Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
