All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
