There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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