I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
