It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
