I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
